How to forgive those you can not forgive

[Lou Newton]

Matthew 5 Love for Enemies

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


Luke 6 Love for Enemies

²⁷ “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. ³⁰ Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I have had some ask, how do I forgive someone I have been unable to forgive. The answer is in the above passages. Pray for them and show them mercy. When you pray for someone The Lord will give you more and more compassion for them. The more you pray, the more compassion you will have for them, the more compassion you have, the more you want to pray for them. When you pray for them, you will be children of the Most High. - OR you will be conformed to His image.

Colossians 1

²⁰ It was through what his Son did that God cleared a path for everything to come to him—all things in heaven and on earth—for Christ’s death on the cross has made peace with God for all by his blood. ²¹ This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were his enemies and hated him and were separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. ²² He has done this through the death on the cross of his own human body, and now as a result Christ has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are standing there before him with nothing left against you—nothing left that he could even chide you for; ²³the only condition is that you fully believe the Truth, standing in it steadfast and firm, strong in the Lord, convinced of the Good News that Jesus died for you, and never shifting from trusting him to save you.

We were the enemies of God, yet while we hated Him, He died for us. If you want to be conformed to the image of God, then love your enemies as He loved you.

When you pray for your enemies you are acting as God does. You will be conformed more to His image the more you act as He does.

When we obey God we are filled with His Holy Spirit. When we disobey God we walk away from God.

So when you are unable to forgive someone who has really mistreated you; think of how you mistreated The Lord. Then remember the mercy He showed you while you were still His enemy. God did nothing to deserve your hate toward Him. He did not deserve that hate.

But we all deserve eternity in hell for our sin. We all deserve to be mistreated. Considering all this we should be able to pray for anyone who mistreats us. When we pray for them, we will have more compassion for them and be able to forgive them.

Lou Newton

[Lou Newton]

Matthew 5 Love for Enemies

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


Luke 6 Love for Enemies

²⁷ “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. ³⁰ Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I have had some ask, how do I forgive someone I have been unable to forgive. The answer is in the above passages. Pray for them and show them mercy. When you pray for someone The Lord will give you more and more compassion for them. The more you pray, the more compassion you will have for them, the more compassion you have, the more you want to pray for them. When you pray for them, you will be children of the Most High. - OR you will be conformed to His image.

Colossians 1

²⁰ It was through what his Son did that God cleared a path for everything to come to him—all things in heaven and on earth—for Christ’s death on the cross has made peace with God for all by his blood. ²¹ This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were his enemies and hated him and were separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. ²² He has done this through the death on the cross of his own human body, and now as a result Christ has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are standing there before him with nothing left against you—nothing left that he could even chide you for; ²³the only condition is that you fully believe the Truth, standing in it steadfast and firm, strong in the Lord, convinced of the Good News that Jesus died for you, and never shifting from trusting him to save you.

We were the enemies of God, yet while we hated Him, He died for us. If you want to be conformed to the image of God, then love your enemies as He loved you.

When you pray for your enemies you are acting as God does. You will be conformed more to His image the more you act as He does.

When we obey God we are filled with His Holy Spirit. When we disobey God we walk away from God.

So when you are unable to forgive someone who has really mistreated you; think of how you mistreated The Lord. Then remember the mercy He showed you while you were still His enemy. God did nothing to deserve your hate toward Him. He did not deserve that hate.

But we all deserve eternity in hell for our sin. We all deserve to be mistreated. Considering all this we should be able to pray for anyone who mistreats us. When we pray for them, we will have more compassion for them and be able to forgive them.

Lou Newton

I have had several people call me on the phone and ask me how to forgive someone they had not been able to forgive. I did not know the answer, except to say, confess this to the Lord and ask Him to help you. But when The Lord speaks to me and tells me this answer, there is not one person who comments on it.

[redsoxmaloney]

I have had several people call me on the phone and ask me how to forgive someone they had not been able to forgive. I did not know the answer, except to say, confess this to the Lord and ask Him to help you. But when The Lord speaks to me and tells me this answer, there is not one person who comments on it.

It's a good thread Lou. I am reminded how alone you are sometimes. Just like when we don't feel thankful, God says to give thanks. When we don't feel like forgiving someone, we have to remember how unworthy we are, and pray for them. The more we pray for them, the more we become a little like God, and that's the answer.

[Lou Newton]

It's a good thread Lou. I am reminded how alone you are sometimes. Just like when we don't feel thankful, God says to give thanks. When we don't feel like forgiving someone, we have to remember how unworthy we are, and pray for them. The more we pray for them, the more we become a little like God, and that's the answer.

Amen Tom. Thanks for the reply. Also the more time we invest in praying for someone, the more we want them to succeed. They become somewhat like "children' to us.

I hope we have someone else who sees the value in this truth and comments.

[Lou Newton]

This is a very important subject. I hope everyone reads it more than once.

Many claim they forgive everyone. BUT all of us men are liars according to God.

How can one tell if there is someone they do not forgive ?

I once heard a very good statement about that.

If you forgive someone you want The Lord to show them love TROUGH YOU.

Is there someone you do not want to be around? Is there someone you avoid ?

Jesus avoids no one and it rains on the just and the unjust. The sun shines on the people who love God and those who curse Him everyday.

[Baruch]

I hope this may complement Lou's excellent post.

I thank the Lord for revealing to us our sin so we can seek mercy, and for making His mercy readily available in the most perfect way.

The law was given to manifest the knowledge of sin. But it could not save. It can only condemn, because all have sinned and lost everything, and have nothing left with which to satisfy the death penalty.

In addition, the law was given to Israel to walk in and live thereby. It was an impossible yoke to bear. It only worked to harden Israel's heart. The law is just, but it does not work grace.

This is the context into which Jesus speaks in Matthew 5. Jesus there convicts the hearts of them who were called by His name. And to this day He still convicts our hearts by the same profession: do as I command, love your neighbor as yourself. Men cannot! Who can live according to Jesus' commands in Matthew 5? These are spiritual high truths, the child of Adam cannot do them even if at times he appears to.

Only God can; and those born of God, who are born of the Spirit and are given the right to become sons of the most High, born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

We who are saved by the work of Christ's Cross, in us we have two men: the old rebel outcast, the thief, the slave to sin, the enemy of God who can do nothing but sin; and the newborn in the kingdom, the son of the freewoman, the friend and child of God who cannot sin. The flesh or the spirit: one of you will die.

By our Lord's goodness and mercy, in perfect love, He makes friends of His enemies, He adopts the fatherless as His own children, visits and betroths the widow. He has already done this work in us, who are called by His name. Out of our heart springs His rivers of living water. Out of His abundance we may learn and practice forgiveness.

Pro 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

[Lou Newton]

I hope this may complement Lou's excellent post.

I thank the Lord for revealing to us our sin so we can seek mercy, and for making His mercy readily available in the most perfect way.

The law was given to manifest the knowledge of sin. But it could not save. It can only condemn, because all have sinned and lost everything, and have nothing left with which to satisfy the death penalty.

In addition, the law was given to Israel to walk in and live thereby. It was an impossible yoke to bear. It only worked to harden Israel's heart. The law is just, but it does not work grace.

This is the context into which Jesus speaks in Matthew 5. Jesus there convicts the hearts of them who were called by His name. And to this day He still convicts our hearts by the same profession: do as I command, love your neighbor as yourself. Men cannot! Who can live according to Jesus' commands in Matthew 5? These are spiritual high truths, the child of Adam cannot do them even if at times he appears to.

Only God can; and those born of God, who are born of the Spirit and are given the right to become sons of the most High, born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

We who are saved by the work of Christ's Cross, in us we have two men: the old rebel outcast, the thief, the slave to sin, the enemy of God who can do nothing but sin; and the newborn in the kingdom, the son of the freewoman, the friend and child of God who cannot sin. The flesh or the spirit: one of you will die.

By our Lord's goodness and mercy, in perfect love, He makes friends of His enemies, He adopts the fatherless as His own children, visits and betroths the widow. He has already done this work in us, who are called by His name. Out of our heart springs His rivers of living water. Out of His abundance we may learn and practice forgiveness.

Pro 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Thanks for this excellent comment Barry.

[The Knight]

Great article. Thank you, Lou.

[Lou Newton]

Great article. Thank you, Lou.

Thanks for the reply Karl.

[The Knight]

Something the Lord gave me revelation on a couple of days ago: forgiveness is about a clean slate. When you forgive someone, you're wiping their slate clean.

I know that seems like common sense, but I think there are so many things that we have knowledge about but we don't have revelation on or we don't believe them. Like the phrase "knowing who you are in Christ". How many times have you heard that? I think it needs to be changed to "believing who you are in Christ". I think a lot of us know who we are in Christ, but we don't believe it in our hearts. If we did, it would be visible in our lives. It somewhat makes me think about a Gary Wilkerson sermon where he talks about us being the light of the world and how you could turn a flashlight on and even if it were pitch black outside and you turned off every light you could possibly turn off, you could still see the light from that flashlight. No matter how much darkness you try to fill that space with, that light can't be hidden.

When you get down to it, I think being who you are in Christ, as well as forgiveness itself, simply all boils down to faith.

[Lou Newton]

Something the Lord gave me revelation on a couple of days ago: forgiveness is about a clean slate. When you forgive someone, you're wiping their slate clean.

I know that seems like common sense, but I think there are so many things that we have knowledge about but we don't have revelation on or we don't believe them. Like the phrase "knowing who you are in Christ". How many times have you heard that? I think it needs to be changed to "believing who you are in Christ". I think a lot of us know who we are in Christ, but we don't believe it in our hearts. If we did, it would be visible in our lives. It somewhat makes me think about a Gary Wilkerson sermon where he talks about us being the light of the world and how you could turn a flashlight on and even if it were pitch black outside and you turned off every light you could possibly turn off, you could still see the light from that flashlight. No matter how much darkness you try to fill that space with, that light can't be hidden.

When you get down to it, I think being who you are in Christ, as well as forgiveness itself, simply all boils down to faith.

Thanks for the reply Karl. Good comments. You made me remember something I read about forgiveness in a book from Basic Youth Conflicts. He said if we forgive someone, we are hoping the The Lord will show them love through us.

It may be one level of forgiveness if we are hoping The Lord will show that person love. But it is another level if we are willing that love comes through us.

I have had people claim they forgive me and to demonstrate that forgiveness they wanted to pray for me. BUT their prayer seemed to reveal they were hoping The Lord would should me judgement, not love.

[Fisherman]

Great thread,Lou. This is an issue that affects many, especially Christians. When a person refuses, or is unable, to forgive another then that person is harboring a grudge. It has been said that when we harbor a grudge against someone it is like mixing poison for them and then drinking it.

[Lou Newton]

Great thread,Lou. This is an issue that affects many, especially Christians. When a person refuses, or is unable, to forgive another then that person is harboring a grudge. It has been said that when we harbor a grudge against someone it is like mixing poison for them and then drinking it.

Fisherman it is so good to hear from you. Thank you so very much for your profound comment. You are correct this is a very valuable thread AND your comment is a very valuable addition to it. You are so right, when we refuse to forgive, we make ourselves a slave to bitterness.