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Jokes that are NOT funny by Jeff Foxworthy

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  • Jokes that are NOT funny by Jeff Foxworthy

    Steve sent me this by email. Thanks Steve.


    By Jeff Foxworthy:



    If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If you have to get your parents' permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If, in the nation's largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is "cute" but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more "safe" according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.



    THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE IN ALL UPCOMING ELECTIONS. MOST OF THE IDIOTS RUNNING THIS COUNTRY SAY ONE THING AND DO THE OPPOSITE KNOWING THAT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED THEM IN DO NOT PAY ATTENTION



    LET'S SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT!!!




    IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER

    ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.



    IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER

    ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.


    IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER

    ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.



    IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER

    ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.


    IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER

    ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.



    IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER

    ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.


    IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY

    YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.



    IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET …….!!!

    A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE,

    SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE,

    FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS,

    SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,

    FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE,

    A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON

    BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE

    THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU

    PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT

    AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

    NOTE from Lou: The jokes here are the people who made these laws and they are certainly not funny.

    Try not to vote for one of these jokes we have in government
    Last edited by Lou Newton; September 13, 2016, 10:37 AM.

  • #2
    Actually, they are sad statements of fact that cause one to reflect on how lost as a society we now are.

    I pray for deliverance and restoration to the way it was and should be, with God running the moral compass of our nation and not men.

    Right now we embrace all these detestable things and reject what is holy and righteous.

    Please have mercy on us Lord Jesus and deliver us from evil. Please put godly men in high places. Please restore wisdom to us and restore our justice system without all the absurd laws that insult You. Thank you. Amen.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Steve Hollander View Post
      Actually, they are sad statements of fact that cause one to reflect on how lost as a society we now are.

      I pray for deliverance and restoration to the way it was and should be, with God running the moral compass of our nation and not men.

      Right now we embrace all these detestable things and reject what is holy and righteous.

      Please have mercy on us Lord Jesus and deliver us from evil. Please put godly men in high places. Please restore wisdom to us and restore our justice system without all the absurd laws that insult You. Thank you. Amen.
      Amen to that prayer Steve.

      I was reminded of this injustice of our government yesterday.

      My brother has been on the same medication for 10 years. It costs him $12 a month for three prescriptions.

      He went to the drug store yesterday to get his prescriptions refilled. Because of Obama care they told him that his prescriptions now would be $90 each, for a total of $270. He did not have enough money to buy them and he left. He is in a terrific amount of pain without them. He simply can not afford them now.

      I offered to buy them for him, thinking they were $90. But then he informed me they were $90 each. I did not have enough money to buy them either. In fact we did not have enough money together to buy them.

      Obama care adds to the cost of those who work and make very little money to give FREE CARE to those who do not work.

      My brother has paid taxes for over 50 years and can not afford his medication.

      Illegal immigrants who have never paid a dime of taxes get free health care.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Lou Newton View Post

        Amen to that prayer Steve.

        I was reminded of this injustice of our government yesterday.

        My brother has been on the same medication for 10 years. It costs him $12 a month for three prescriptions.

        He went to the drug store yesterday to get his prescriptions refilled. Because of Obama care they told him that his prescriptions now would be $90 each, for a total of $270. He did not have enough money to buy them and he left. He is in a terrific amount of pain without them. He simply can not afford them now.

        I offered to buy them for him, thinking they were $90. But then he informed me they were $90 each. I did not have enough money to buy them either. In fact we did not have enough money together to buy them.

        Obama care adds to the cost of those who work and make very little money to give FREE CARE to those who do not work.

        My brother has paid taxes for over 50 years and can not afford his medication.

        Illegal immigrants who have never paid a dime of taxes get free health care.
        That's why he needs to take advantage of some of the services that those people that haven't earned them, abuse.

        I pray for him and will continue, but he can get relief if he is willing to be humble and accept it.

        Poor guy should be on disability long ago. He shouldn't have to work at all with all his problems. And he works harder than any two people nowadays. Blessings .

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Steve Hollander View Post

          That's why he needs to take advantage of some of the services that those people that haven't earned them, abuse.

          I pray for him and will continue, but he can get relief if he is willing to be humble and accept it.

          Poor guy should be on disability long ago. He shouldn't have to work at all with all his problems. And he works harder than any two people nowadays. Blessings .
          Thanks for the prayers Steve

          Comment

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